A Hate Group Targeted My Kid Online

Extremists targeted my 12-year-old son online.

He was playing a virtual game with friends over the summer when another child let a user into the group who they had not played with before. That account then ushered in other users, and several days later they launched a toxic tirade of harassment and flooded the chat with anti-Semitic vitriol, swastikas and neo-Nazi propaganda.

When my son pushed back, they bombarded him with aggressive, hateful messages. As soon as we blocked and reported one abusive account, another disturbing message would appear within seconds in a seemingly coordinated attack.

My son and I had previously discussed what to do if he was ever targeted online, or witnessed harassment, and we were able to respond quickly, but his experience is not unusual.

Hate speech and online abuse have been pervasive in digital spaces for many years, but the use of gaming and messaging platforms by extremists and the alt-right to target younger users is increasing as more children play online. A 2017 Pew study found that 90 percent of teens now use gaming platforms; and a 2019 survey from Common Sense Media found that 64 percent of tweens 8 to 12 years old play online games.

“Extremists are moving more and more into gaming spaces and targeting a young audience,” said Mark Potok, an expert in domestic hate groups and former senior fellow at the Southern Poverty Law Center. “This kind of access is what they have wanted for years.”

Virtual hate speech also increased during the pandemic as online activity soared, according to a report issued by L1GHT, a technology company that identifies toxic speech online.

“It’s not men in white hoods on the street anymore,” said Laura Guy, a clinical social worker in New York City who works with children who have been targeted online. “They don’t always begin with overtly hateful language. Oftentimes, they try to engage youth with edgy, dark humor and provocative jokes.”

Caregivers can use privacy settings as a first line of defense against online harassment or recruiting, but extremists find workarounds to gain access to children. For instance, they create misleading or fake accounts to lure children and their friends into accepting friend requests, or to join their games.

In Discord — a popular messaging platform where gamers can chat while playing — extremists have espoused hate and created servers glorifying Nazis. Users can organize “raiding parties” that encourage their members to barrage another server with hateful messages.

Children can unknowingly let extremists in if they post their server link on Disboard (a site not owned by Discord where people can search for Discord servers). Extremists can use that posted link to infiltrate.

Hate groups frequently use video games to recruit members, but they have also become a prime space to harass children. “If you are not one of them, you are an enemy, and they enjoy trying to make people miserable” Mr. Potok said.

A 2020 Anti-Defamation League survey found that 68 percent of online gamers experienced severe harassment. Fifty-three percent of respondents said they were harassed based on “race/ethnicity, religion, ability status, gender or sexual orientation”; and 51 percent received threats of violence.

Mr. Potok said that online abuse is a problem all children can experience, but marginalized groups are at particular risk.

Lydia Elle, an African American business owner and writer in California, said her 11-year-old daughter began playing the online game Roblox during the pandemic to connect with school friends. Her daughter put an avatar of an African American girl on her profile and was quickly targeted, her mother said. “Virulent racists quickly honed in on her and called her horrible names,” Ms. Elle said.

Some platforms report they are taking steps to address extremism, such as using artificial intelligence to detect offensive content and increasing moderation, but many users say it has taken far too long for tech companies to address the harassment, and that it has not declined.

Representatives for Discord and Roblox each said that their platforms have zero tolerance for hate speech and “violent extremism.”

Discord uses “a mix of proactive and reactive tools to keep activity that violates our policies off the service,” the company said in a statement. These include automated search tools like PhotoDNA and ways for users to report violations. Roblox reported that it uses a “combination of machine learning and a team of over 3,000” people to detect inappropriate content.

Lori Getz, an internet safety expert and the author of “The Tech Savvy User’s Guide to the Digital World,” said that caregivers can’t control everything children are exposed to, but parents can empower children to handle difficult situations online. Here’s how:

Start the conversation early.

Talk with children in age-appropriate ways about hate — including overt and covert signs, such as words, symbols and images — and trusting their instincts if something doesn’t seem right. “If caregivers don’t talk with their children about these things, someone else will, and it may not be a credible source,” Ms. Guy said.

If children are harassed online, ensure they have support, said Robyn Silverman, a child and teen development specialist. Online abuse should be taken just as seriously as other types of abuse, she said, noting that children and teens who are targeted “can experience anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping, stomach aches and other physical symptoms from cyber abuse.”

Maintaining an ongoing, open dialogue about online safety is crucial. Even if children are not allowed to play certain games at home, they may be exposed to them in other places. A British survey of 20,000 children ages 11-18 reported that 57 percent said they have accounts that “adults don’t know about.”

Children may withhold information from caregivers, especially if they are targeted online, out of fear of losing their games, Dr. Silverman said. “Share with your children that they won’t be in trouble if they come to you about this,” she suggested. “Let them know that you are there to support them.”

Check content and review settings.

Review online content and the accounts that your children interact with, as well as privacy settings and parental controls. Be transparent so your children know you will be checking.

Ms. Getz recommended that caregivers check game ratings. Online platforms for children under 13 have stricter privacy requirements under the federal Children’s Online Privacy Protection Rule than platforms that target older users.

Make a plan ahead of time.

Ensure that your child knows what to do if they are targeted. To start with, they should tell a trusted adult who can provide support. It is important to screenshot the comments, block offensive users, leave the game or chat, and report abusive accounts.

Reporting procedures vary by platforms — review with your child how to submit a report before a problem arises.

Reporting may feel futile when platforms are slow to respond, but experts say it matters. “Reporting helps children feel empowered that they did something,” Ms. Getz said. “Choosing not to report also means hateful accounts have little chance of being flagged.”

Caregivers should report threats of violence to law enforcement.

Encourage your child to speak up.

Kids who witness online abuse can help by making it clear that they will not be a bystander to hate, Ms. Getz said.

Ms. Elle’s daughter and her friends have a plan — if one of them is attacked, they all screenshot the comments and report the account. “Standing up to hate doesn’t just fall on the person being targeted,” Ms. Elle said. “Being an ally can really make a difference when someone is targeted.”

Calling out hate is important, Ms. Getz said, but engaging in a toxic, ongoing exchange can be traumatizing for children and gives extremists more attention.

Ms. Getz recommended that when children and adolescents witness online hate they should reply with one clearly worded response: “Let them know that what they are doing is unacceptable and you will not be a part of it — and then disengage and report the account.”